I'm freezing!

It's cold here today, 8, but nowhere near the cold it was just a week or so ago when it was in the negatives all day, so I don't know why I feel so cold now when I didn't then! I think I'll have to look in my closet here at work and see if i have a sweater! Well, Monday I have an appointment with the bariatrician. At that time, other appointments will be set up for me, one for the nutritionist and 1 for the psych evaluation. During my last conversation with the nurse at the bariatricians office, she was saying surgery could be in May, as long as all my paperwork is in order (which it should be)! So, I'm starting to get excited! I know this is not an "easy way out" by any means, but I look forward to the challenges it will bring me along the way! I've begun ordering the supplies I'll need to make my life more law-carb than ever, things like almond flour, natural sugar replacement, high protein stuff. I've never had a problem eating sugar-free, or law carb, or drinking a protein shake for a meal replacement....the problem comes in not feeling FULL afterwards, resulting in me being hungry approximately 15 minutes after meals!!! With this sleeve surgery, the ghrelin will be removed, which is the hormone that causes hunger. Here is an excerpt about the sleeve: "Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy The Sleeve Gastrectomy may be the only surgery you need to fully achieve your weight loss goals. But it also can be performed as the first stage to a Gastric Bypass, Duodenal Switch or Gastric Banding procedure. We perform the Sleeve Gastrectomy as a stand-alone operation or as part one of a two-stage procedure. In our experience, the weight loss and reduction of medical problems are similar to those of Gastric Bypass. Less than 5% of our patients who have chosen Sleeve Gastrectomy have required or desired a second stage procedure. The Sleeve Gastrectomy involves permanently removing approximately 85% of the stomach. Research has shown that removing this portion of the stomach reduces a hormone called ghrelin which causes hunger. Therefore, patients not only feel full after a small amount of food, but also do not often crave food. It is not uncommon to hear Sleeve patients say that they have to remind themselves to eat. The other great benefit of the Sleeve Gastrectomy is that there is no malabsorption of nutrients and patients have fewer problems with vitamin deficiencies including Calcium, Iron and Vitamin D. You simply have a smaller stomach.

" Yes, it's some major surgery! But I hope to be back to work within 2 weeks, possibly even just 1 week with restrictions! Here are pics of me that I took last week at my all-time highest weight. I hope to NEVER look like that again!!!

Happy Friday!

Too long

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted. There's been lots going on, both externally and internally. A month ago I started the process of lap-band surgery. There are things during the 6 month waiting period that needs to be done, so I'm doing them, and biding my time. I've done a lot of research on it, and talked to a friend who had it done a few months ago, so I'm not too worried about it. In the meantime, I've joined a local Biggest Loser challenge, starting next Tuesday. I've heard it's lots of fun, so what the heck, I'll give it a go. I want to try to stick to low carb as much as possible, because I know that's what works for me. We shall see.

September 16

It's Monday. The weekend was NOT good, but it could have been worse. I was conscious of every bit of food I put in my mouth, and I must admit that a LOT of it made me feel guilty :( BUT.... at least I am paying more attention, and as long as I keep on doing that, eventually those bad habits will turn into good ones. I just have to never stop trying, and to always be aware of the food/drink I am consuming. I got my morning invoices done, so I decided I was NOT going to sit here at work through my lunch hour, and I went to the local walking park and walked for 1.12 miles. Of course, I took my camera with me, so there were frequent stops to take photos.

I will keep on trying, trying, trying, to lose the bad habit of eating so much after supper!! Oh... I'm down 2 ounces from last week. It should have been 2 pounds if I had stuck with my plan to a TEE, but every little loss counts, so I'll take it!!

Sept 13, 2013

Well, yesterday wasn't such a good day :( I was okay, and under budget, until after supper. Then for some stupid reason I decided to continue eating, probably adding another 500 or more calories to the days allotment. Then, I woke up a few times during the night with a splitting headache... and the runs :( I'm not feeling so great today, but I was finally able to take some pills that will hopefully alleviate the headache, and I'm just now (it's 11 am) eating my breakfast of scrambled eggs and spinach, and a tomato, and plan to just do my best to stay on plan for the rest of the day. Weekends are always a problem, but I'm going to pick up some groceries after work, with an emphasis on veggies and more lean protein. I took a little bit of time out of my busy morning to make this pencil sketch of my beautiful daughter.

I hate myself

Today I went to Kohl's. I needed to get some new pants for the upcoming fall/winter season. I've been living in capris for the past 5 months, and I know those will not cut it much longer. Needless to say, after trying on the jeans in the dressing room, I was thoroughly disgusted by what I saw in the mirror. It's 3 hours later, and I've barely been able to stop crying - I hate myself beyond belief :( So I thought I had better do something to really get serious about losing this weight. I actually started yesterday by eating low carb, with a total of about 10 carbs for the day. But after seeing myself in that full length mirror, I know that I have to do more than just "TRY" to watch what I eat...I need to actually write about my attempts, too, and that's why I've started this blog. I plan on continuing to use LoseIt to track my food nutrients, and, in addition, I am going to try to take a picture of EVERYTHING I eat. My morning weight was 237. I know that may not seem like much to many, but to me it's devastating. 3 years ago I was at 185, and thought I was fat then.... oh, to have those days back!!!! Yes, 185 was overweight, but 237 is OBESE, and that disgusts me. In 7 months, I'll be 50 years old, and although I have more than 50 pounds to lose, I hope to get as close to that goal as possible by my birthday. That will put mt at 187, and then I will allow myself up to an addition year to lose at least 40 pounds more, so that I can be a "healthy" weight of 147. It's going to be a long, very hard journey, but I pray I can do it.